


Snow Cat

by Kithera



Series: Trials and tribulations of a Jedi padawan [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, jedi - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Animal Death, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Drama, Fights, Gen, Jedi Code (Star Wars), Padawan Training (Star Wars), Padawans (Star Wars), Snow, Soul-Searching, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27616471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kithera/pseuds/Kithera
Summary: On a solo-mission, Jedi padawan Kithera Rinani does some soul searching about what it means to be a 'proper Jedi'.
Series: Trials and tribulations of a Jedi padawan [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964677
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Snow Cat

There were drops of blood on the snow. Like tiny spring buds opening their pain filled petals in a landscape of shimmering frost. 

The snowcat prowled in a wide arc, watching her carefully. 

She frowned as blood dripped from her fingertips and pain arced from the long, thin gash that now marred her forearm. 

This wasn’t going according to plan. It was supposed to be a simple mission. One padawan against the elements, trekking across the wilderness from one camp to the next. 

The first two days had been uneventful. It had been nice to just listen to the constant symphony of The Force without distractions. Out here, with only her own needs to focus on had quietened, at least for a time, her brain. It was easier to focus when your only mission was to survive. 

With no-one to criticise her, she’d bought into the illusion of always having absolute freedom and serenity. She could live like this forever and not have to follow the rules of the Temple. Not having to listen to the scolding voices of the Masters everytime she couldn’t sit still, or talked too much, or was too loud, too excited, too everything that a Jedi should not be. The illusion had been so strong, so entrancing, that she’d missed the warning swell of music in the Force signalling that danger was nearby. 

It had been the growl of the snow cat as it leapt from the stands of tall, spindly trees that dotted the landscape that had finally brought her back to the here and now. 

The snowcat growled again and Kithera tried desperately to send a calming song through The Force. The beast just eyed her warily, its ears flat against its head. It leapt again and she tumbled over its head to dodge the first swipe of one massive claw. 

It came at her again and this time the tip of a claw caught her on her hip as she jumped, slicing through her tunic and into the skin beneath. She gasped at the searing pain. 

The impact was enough to drag her into the soft snow. She rolled as she landed, wrapping the music around her to soften the impact. She lay in the snow for a second and then gathered the music again, the breathy wind notes and the quick tempered base beat she always associated as hers, and pushed out towards the cat with one hand. 

The cat, hissing and spitting, dug its claws in as it ploughed backwards through the snow. 

Kithera flipped herself onto her feet, feeling the pain of her hip join the pain that still radiated from her arm. The sweat from the fight clung to her, cold icicles against her skin. 

She called her lightsaber to her hand and ignited it as the animal took two graceful strides and attacked, claws extended. 

The cat yowled in pain as she struck, hitting the ground awkwardly. It got unsteadily to its feet and snarled at her. She tried again to manipulate its feelings. Tried to convince it that she was too scary, too frightening for it to take on but the cat just hissed at her, ears flat. 

She breathed deeply and carefully, listening to her heart beat. It was always the percussion beat as the Force flowed through her. It was a part of her and she was a part of it. She would do its bidding. 

She slowed her thoughts and let the symphony of music enveloped her. 

She watched the animal as it arched its back, and snarled. It leapt at her again and she ducked but its back claws caught her side and she tumbled with it. She felt her lightsabre skitter from her hand. The two of them tumbled over and over in the snow. 

Razor sharp fangs filled her vision. 

She could feel its breath on her neck as its mouth closed with a snap. She twisted under it, trying to bring her legs up to push it away. The music swelled around her, percussion, wind and the crystalline sharpness of the cat’s own melody joining together in a roar of sound. 

Her hand reached out and the lightsabre skittered towards her through the snow. The cat brought one huge paw down on her shoulder, pinning her deep into a snow drift. She kicked futilely at its chest belly as it bore down on her, its maw red and gaping. 

The lightsabre snapped into her hand and she brought the bright blue blade up, plunging it deep into the giant cat’s abdomen. 

It snarled one last time and then slumped forward, landing its whole-body weight on top of her. Her whole world became nothing but fur, ice, blood and cold as its dead weight drove her further into the snow drift.

There was the tiny tinkle of bells that always signalled the death of something. It was a sound she’d come to know too well. 

Kithera lay in the snow, willing herself to get up and push the cat off. She could feel the ice melting into her robes. Soon she would be soaked to the bone. She clenched her fist, and the pain flared again through her forearm. Soaked, in pain and probably still bleeding, the mission had turned out to be a complete disaster. 

She sighed again and pushed the animal off her using her last reserves of strength. She pulled the comm unit from her pocket and set off the emergency signal. The one that they were only supposed to use if they had no other choice. If they had failed. 

She gritted her teeth at the chime that let her know they’d received the message. This was yet another thing that she would have to explain. 

She sat in the snow, no longer caring about the way the water creeped into her robes and stared out over the tundra at the tiny blurred shape of a landspeeder. Her mind played the scenario over and over again in her head, as she patted the cat’s fur. She smoothed out the blood-spattered knots and whispered apologies in its unhearing ear. 

It shouldn’t have been like this. She shouldn’t have been daydreaming. She shouldn’t have thought that she could do it by herself. She shouldn’t have thought she could be free. 

The mental litany continued as the speeder drew closer. She slowly got to her feet and waved as it approached. She reached down and grabbed her bag and then climbed aboard as it drew to a stop. She ignored Master Koth’s questioning look as he flew them away. Instead, she stared out of the window as the endless, bleak landscape passed by. 

She should have done better. She should have been paying attention. She should have heard the music. She should have seen the signs and avoided the area. She should have been able to calm the animal through the Force. 

She should have been able to do it. 

She should have been a better Jedi. 

She should…


End file.
